When we spend more than we take in, that’s deficit spending. Likewise, when we don’t replenish the psychological resources we expend, we’re in a deficit situation. Those of us still hearing the echoes of our traumatic childhoods or with a history of attachment difficulties or other psychic wounds, need to find nurturance, either internally or externally, to balance those mental debits.
Tonight’s group discussion explored several ways to do this. One is to hear others’ stories and know that we all face this balancing act as we move forward with our lives. Another is to see our deficits as the source of our surpluses. Yes, with every loss there is gain, just as the opposite is true. What do we give up when we compromise? And what strength do we derive from our defeats?
One example tonight is how one member is able to work with a very difficult—yet very deserving—population of social services recipients. Would he have the empathy, patience, and maturity to work with these damaged individuals had he not felt that same damage in his own life?
We are all encouraged to see what we have gained from our losses and our apparent deficits, and to look at our challenges as ways to exercise the incredible, unlimited resilience we carry inside us.